Melt Down, new shoes & ice cream.
As it turns out my son has a sincere hate for buildings, stores, malls, etc. So I wasn’t surprised when he had a fit as soon as we walked into the mall today.
We sat on the sales floor of J.C. Pennys for an hour, he fell asleep after crying for a while. We rode the carousel, ate chicken fingers & ice cream. Plus Gavin got a new pair of shoes. Towards the end of the mall trip Gavin was much happier, so was I.
Todays better than yesterdays.
Good morning! Happy February folks.
After Monday, I didn’t want to jinx it, but Gavin did great at drop off today and yesterday! He was in such a fantastic mood this morning. He was dancing and moving all around, made me want to dance and move. 
Kids spirits are so infectious. I hope he has a fantastic day at school!
I read this yesterday and thought I’d share with all my ASD friends. Keep your chins up.
My child with Autism is a one of a kind living treasure and no label or stereotype defies him. No amount of change or challenge, diagnosis or difference will ever cloud who my child really is…. My heart.
3 weeks of bliss and then…
The first three days of school for Gavin were rough, he cried, I cried, we were a mess, it was pitiful. However, on the Friday of his first week of pre-school he did not cry. The teacher came and got him out of the car ( we just drive in a circle and the teachers or aides come get the kids out of the back seat, it’s really convenient! I don’t even have to get dressed ) He went in the school with her willingly and basically waved bye to me. I felt so much better, more content with leaving him there.
Everyday since he hasn’t had any issues going to school and staying there all day. The teacher writes me notes everyday about his progress and his activities that day including what he ate for breakfast and lunch! She also sends me pictures and videos of Gavin throughout the school day. I adore her. She is a true gem.
Today our good streak ended. Gavins daddy got him dressed, I picked him up and as soon as he got in my car he started crying. screaming and rubbing his face. The closer we got to school the louder he cried flailed his arms, kicked the back of the seat. He was having a meltdown right in the backseat. We were in the carpool circle waiting our turn for the aide to get him out of the car and when she opened the door I just said “I am sorry, I am going to take him home.” — ::SIGH:: I don’t know if this was the right thing to do, but it felt right. He was so upset, more than a typical tantrum. In the world of autism, there is a difference between a tantrum and a meltdown. A meltdown can last hours and involve self-harm and personal injury. Gavin scratched his face, sometimes he will hit himself in the head with his fists. It breaks my heart.
So, no school for Gavin today. We’re both laying in my bed. He wanted pizza for breakfast, so that’s what he got. We’ll try again tomorrow.
Top Five Reasons You Should Never Piss Off an Autism Mom
LOVE this, and it is perfectly fitting! Enjoy, it’s a great read.
Top Five Reasons You Should Never Piss Off an Autism Mom
We’ve all been there. Every autism mom has had at least one encounter with some insensitive jackass who insulted our children or criticized our parenting. It might have been the perfectly groomed soccer mom who said your child was merely spoiled, or maybe the old biddy that told you to take your screaming kid outside even though you were already dragging him out the door in a Fireman Carry, or maybe just some random mean guy who muttered, “This is why I hate kids” under his breath while your child happily flapped past him.
Usually we just have to mention “autism” and the critics slink away, embarrassed and with their tails between their legs, but every now and then you meet somebody who is such a huge asshole they don’t care if your kid is autistic, they just care that your child’s noise/stim/existence is annoying to them, and they don’t hesitate to tell you about how obnoxious your child is and what a terrible job you’re doing raising him.
Sometimes their callousness shocks us silent, and we sit in the car afterward, thinking of all the retorts we could have made. Sometimes we take the higher ground and walk away, and sometimes we dig in and defend ourselves. (And sometimes we defend ourselves loudly and with many obscenities, but that bitch in the bookstore deserved it!)
These people who attack us are horrible because they have no empathy. They’re shallow people who probably lead miserable lives devoid of depth and meaning. They need to learn compassion and respect, but mostly they need to learn to fear us, because autism moms are not to be trifled with.
Top Five Reasons You Should Never Piss Off an Autism Mom
Five. We’re Already on the Defensive
What? You think you’re the first person to think I’m a bad mother? Get in line. People have been assuming I’m a bad mother for the last five years. I chew up people who think I’m a bad parent for breakfast. You think there’s something wrong with my kid? No shit, Sherlock – this panel of physicians and psychologists agrees with you. Tell us something we don’t know. Have something new and clever to add? No? NO? I didn’t think so…
In other words, we have experience with assholes like you.
Four. We Are Not Socially Well-Adjusted
We were real people once, and we will be real people again someday, but right now we’re living on the fringe of polite society. We have cut ties and discarded the family and friends who couldn’t handle our situation. We all suffer from severe PTSD. Our houses are messy, our surfaces are sticky, and we know the words to way too many Wiggles songs. We clean up disasters that you couldn’t even begin to contemplate. We live in semi-isolation, trying to have philosophical conversations with children who only know 18 words. We wear yoga pants all day. Our lives are not like other people’s lives. Do you really want to make us angry? Or do you want to give us a really really wide berth and back away slowly because you’re scared of what we might do if we snap? Yes. Good choice.
Three. We Know How to Fight
Autism moms know how to fight because we practice. We fight all day long. We fight with doctors about treatment, and then we fight with insurance companies to get it paid for. We fight with the state over services and we fight with schools about our IEPs. We fight with our families who won’t come to visit us anymore and we fight with our husbands to let off steam from all the other fighting we’re constantly doing. We fight with our children to make them keep their pants on in public. Do you think for a second that we would hesitate to fight with a complete stranger who was totally asking for it?
Two. We’re Already Angry
Autism moms carry huge amounts of unprocessed rage just below the surface. We’re mad at god or the universe or fate or whatever it is out there that gave our children autism. We are furious at the cards we were dealt and indignant that such a horrible thing had to happen to our children. We are angry about the loss of the child we were supposed to have, and we never truly stop mourning. We’re angry at the doctors who didn’t catch it early enough and also at the doctors who did. We hold a grudge against anybody who ever failed us as we tried to make sense of this chaos, and we’re also furious at ourselves, because we constantly feel like we’re not doing enough to help and we’re secretly afraid that it might somehow be our fault in the first place. We are already walking bundles of resentment…do you want to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back?
One. We’re Sleep Deprived
Some of us haven’t had a good night’s sleep in years. Between the stress, depression, anxiety, and the kid who wakes up screaming for popsicles at 3 a.m., we’re all beyond exhausted. We’re muddled and short-tempered and irrational and crazy. Like ax murderer crazy. Like Mel Gibson crazy. There are all sorts of studies linking sleep deprivation to psychosis and that would probably hold up in court if I decided to assault you. Keep that in mind the next time you fail to keep your opinions to yourself, and beware the autism mom.
By
‘Laughing Through Tears~~ Two women, four autism diagnoses, many cocktails’
First trip of the year to the Emergency Room…
…Hey, at least we made it 17 days, right? The E.R. & the Urgent Care give me massive anxiety. Either way you have to hurry up and fill out papers and then …you just wait, with a crying, suffering child. It’s agony I tell ya. My patience level plummets drastically, not that I have much to begin with.
Then we see the nurse, who is annoyingly chipper for near midnight. And she keeps asking my non-verbal, Autistic son questions, that probably sound like cow mooooos to him. Weight, height, blah, blah, moooo, and I finally ask ” Can we get some meds over here” Becuse this is what my son looks like right now.
Another one of Gavins infamous allergic reactions. For some reason his allergies seem to target his eyes the most. Poor kid. He got two shots to the thighs (which he took like a champ.) We picked up his prescriptions for the steroid and headed home.
Took him to see his ENT since his tube had fallen out 5 months ago. She hsaid his ears look great, and we can fit him for ear plugs for swimming lessons. Gavin is feeling much better today, the swelling has gone down significantly and he was able to go to school today.
So until next time….
A Rocky Start
Yesterday was Gavins first day at his new pre-school. His teachers were waiting for him outside, saying his name, welcoming him to his new class. I walked him into the school and into his class, he took off and played with some toys. I headed to see the school nurse to drop off all of his medications and fill out a ton of paperwork.
I left and went to work. This is Gavin’s first time staying all day at a pre-school, so all day I was worried & anxious. This is the text I received from Gavin’s teacher after school:
Gavin had a fabulous day. He fell asleep in the cafeteria. I rubbed his back until he went back to sleep. The only time he cried was when he woke up from his nap. He did cry for awhile. I think he wasn’t sure where he was. All in all it was a super super great day. He’s a sweetheart and we are already loving him!!
Im glad most of his day went well, but it’s sad for me to think of him crying at school. When I dropped him this morning he cried his little heart out. I was still in the hall and I heard him, so I went and found him and hugged him for 20 minutes until he stopped, then when he was distracted, I snuck out and cried all the way out the front doors.
One of the most difficult things to do is to have to walk away from my own crying child. It breaks my heart. As a mother we’re designed to soothe & calm, not being able to do that feels so wrong.
Caring for a sick Autistic child
Knowing your child is sick is such a helpless feeling, but not knowing what is ailing them is even more upsetting.
Gavin was warm to the touch, not eating, not drinking and just overall not himself at all. So we knew he was sick, but since he is non-verbal we didn’t know what was wrong because he couldn’t tell us. He was making funny faces with his mouth, which led me to believe he had a sore throat.
We took his temperature axillary (under the arm) because that is the only way we can take it, he wont let us do it any other way, it read 101.5 and I know from speaking to his pediatrician that you are supposed to add one degree to that. So his temp was 102.5. We took him to urgent care on Christmas Eve, the wait was 4 hours. There were lots of sick little babies in the waiting room. Gavin is impatient and I knew he wouldn’t wait 4 hours to see a Dr. In the mean time he drank some orange juice, we got some Motrin and took him home. After the Motrin he got a warm bath and he ate lunch, which was great since he had been refusing.
His fever broke and he seemed to be back to himself…..or so I thought. He is still refusing to eat hardly anything. He even refused mac’ n cheese which is one of his favorites. 
So, we’ll follow up with his pediatrician this week to see if there is anything we missed.
The new school…
Frankly I was nervous to send Gavin to a new school. He was comfortable, broken-in, if you will to his old school. Even though he was only there 3 months he loved his teacher and the AIDE. But, it was time to go, time to broaden his little horizons as my dad would say.
I went to the school, which is in a fantastic neighborhood by the way. I filled out a slew of paperwork for the nurse. We have to do this a lot as Gavin has severe allergies and asthma and requires epi pends and inhalers & such things. The school was nice, they had a pet hamster, fish tanks filled with lovely, colorful fish and all the adaptive equipment you could dream of. Wheel chairs, high chairs, and even a scary looking restrain table, but I know that it can come in handy for self-harming children & since I work in mental and behavioral health it wasn’t really all that scary to me.
I saw children with tracheotomy’s, children with adaptive leg braces, and of course lots of neurotypical children. It was refreshing! Finally a place that openly & evenly tends to the needs of special needs children, instead of setting aside one classroom and stuffing them all in there as to not burden the rest of the school with their deficencies.
I met the teacher, Ms. Amy, who has taught in an Autistic classroom for 10 years. The aide, Stephanie who has TWO sons on the Autistic spectrum and the principle, who was the kindest, little lady you’d ever meet. Her name is Sue Slack. I love the way her name sounds and I found myself chanting it the rest of the day “Sue Slack, Sue Slack, Sue Slack.” There are only 3 other boys in Gavins class, all with Autism. He is the oldest. He played with blocks and drew on paper. He sat on Ms. Stephanies lap and hugged her tight around her neck, that’s how I knew he’d be just fine.
So after the holiday’s he will start at his new school, in his new class, for the whole day. I am confident he will do well. Yay! Go Gavin!
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